I do mean what I say, it's just what I mean changes. I never claimed to make the healthiest of choices, and I'm trying not to get back into a position of being politely insulted and made to feel like the only thing I'm good for right now is sex, but if I just stayed with them I could be better. While also being toyed with "I could leave you," messages.
I did block them. They blocked me too. It's good right now. I'm fantasizing about a hefty alcohol/opioid combo, but it's good.