So the drama continues. You know what, don't ask the universe anything if you don't expect something back. I teach a class on the Law of Attraction at NC Works every Wednesday so I should know better. Giovanni's mom called me this morning and told him that the girl he mentioned was "just a friend" and that he really misses me a lot and asked about me. He asked if she had my new number, but she makes sure she doesn't tell him we even talk. He was reading the last letter I sent to him months ago before me and my boyfriend even started dating, and he is sad that I didn't keep my promise to stay in touch. But how could I? All that relationship represented was jails, institutions, homelessness and if I didn't get out, death.
I don't know. I am not sleeping. I am torn in so many directions all the time. I see his face all the time in my head, and I think of him even though I don't want to. Why am I having such a hard time letting go of a man that was so bad for me? Now he will be mailing me a letter because my address is all he has of me. I better not read it. I have to push this out of my head. All of this is totally unfair to my boyfriend.
On the upside, my mood has been stable despite the 3 hours sleep last night. I went to my local AA meeting and went grocery shopping. My friend's birthday card came, and he had stuffed a whole bunch of confetti in there and when I opened it, all the wind blew it all over and into my car. He said I was meant to open it at home so it could have messed up my whole house! LOL. I guess it was good to have a nice laugh like that. I'm leaving all the confetti in my car, lol.