I no longer have those 4-5 hour long panic attacks. I stopped having them it's a really long story how. Mainly sedating meds, no benzos. That helped for about a year. I didn't realize it at the time but I ended up in a year long mixed episode that eventually caused me to not sleep. Even with a ton of sedating meds including 30 mgs of Zyprexa I still couldn't sleep. So I had just gotten a new psych nurse and she was useless. She ended up leaving and the new psychiatrist I got gave me ambien. I ended up having a 24 hour long panic attack, I'm not kidding. Bc ambien is in the same family as benzos i had rebound anxiety. I called him and he said I'll put you on depakote or you can go to the hospital. I went to the hospital. I'm now on, klonipin, a ton of gabapentin, Propranolol, . They are making my brain mush. I used to be very intelligent and now can't think off the top of my head when I hear an idea etc. So my goal is to work my but off to get off of some of these meds. I can't really come off gabapentin though bc I have a lot of back pain so I medically need it. I could ask for Lyrica but I think they won't give me it.

My anxiety presents itself like yours does every day. around 7pm. I take my night meds at 9pm. I don't want to add anymore meds. I'm going to try and drink some teas that I looked up that can help with increasing my gamma. I'm also going to try eating healthier but I don't like chicken. The only meat products I like are pork and beef. I am eating more fruit. But dang that gabapentin really increases my appetite after I take my night meds.

The only time I feel like my old self is after I take my night meds. My days are filled with the anxiety you described some days. If my son is constantly calling me in a crisis imy anxiety shoots up really high. But this anxiety has made my life very small. Im afraid to drive so i barely leave the house, ive gained a lot of weight from thesepsych meds. Its just been awful. Even showering is hard for me bc i was sometimes having those 4-5 hour long panic attacks in the shower. So i associate showering with them. If my son isnt in a crisis the awful anxiety doesnt start until 7pm bc i take my night meds at 9pm. . So i only have to deal with it for 3 hours bc it takes about 1 hour for my meds to completely kick in. This whoe puting me on a benzo in the first place, I didn't want to be put on it. I had a psychotic break in 2011 and I was afraid of antipsychotics so she said I'm putting you on lorazapam bc you are so afraid of these meds. She said if I don't comply with it she would no longer see me. I was brand new to psychiatry so I complied. Then the psych nurse that took me off lorazapam promised me she wouldn't take me off of it and 2 years later she took me off of it. Benzos have ruined my life! I researched it and if you've been taken off a benzo and then put back on one, they don't help like when you were first put on one.

I'm on medicaid so where I go for my psych issues, there is a really high turnover. Ppl just work there until they get enough experience and then go somewhere else where they can make more money.

But in conclusion my life absolutely sucks and to add to my anxiety I have a 28 yr old son with schizophrenia and there's a whole long story with that.