> Thanks all, for the responses. They all sound so reasonable and like this should be straightforward and easy. I don't know why I can't make it so.

why, because it is happening to YOU, of course. it is easy to figure what to do in situations that involve OTHER PEOPLE. when it is happening to US then it is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT - of course.

i'm wondering about sending him your initial post. how come? because it clearly states how you feel he has avoided your talking about this and you are starting to feel like he doesn't want you to. maybe... that is the most important thing to clear up?

1) does he think it wouldn't be a good idea for you to talk about this?

it might be that he is unintentionally avoiding... it might be that he is intentionally avoiding... it would be doing my head in until i knew which...