View Single Post
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,288 (SuperPoster!)
6
3,697 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 30, 2024 at 06:59 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
I am so very, very sorry that you are in the situation you describe. You have been on this Forum much longer than I have and have helped more people so I don't know if I can be helpful to you.

There is something that helps me a lot but to be quite honest with you, many people have told me it does nothing at all for them.

Sometimes things that really help one person are totally worthless to others in the same kinds of situations.

I have a kind of "mantra" I say to myself when the stress of past and present traumas and difficulties are crushing me from every side. What I say is: "Could be worse, but isn't worse, thank goodness." Or if it is about things I fear in the future, I say to myself: "No matter what happens in the future regarding work, relationships, health and so on, I will still be able to say: "could be worse but will not be worse, thank goodness.' "

I get caught in a kind of "could, should be better" frame of mind. It makes me sad and ramps up my anxiety to great heights and even leads me to have panic attacks and rolling panic attacks.

I find I can disarm this with "could be worse but isn't worse" frame of mind. I could be worse, but am not worse. Other people could be worse but are not worse. Things, situations and events in my life and the world could be worse but are not worse, thank goodness.

I know it must sound crazy, but reframing my mind to gratitude really lowers my anxiety and unhappy and distressing feelings.
The worst I've ever felt in my life was when I had life threatening food poisoning that caused my to throw up constantly and without any pause or relief. I felt so, so sick and bad.

Now when I feel nervous or bad about something in my life, I think well at least I am not suffering from that food poisoning right now. And it helps me.
I am not on fire. I am not starving to death. I am not stranded in a desert without water and facing a slow and painful demise. Thank goodness!

People have told me that doing what I do has helped them but many more people have told me that it doesn't do a thing for them. So I am only sharing it with you in the hope that maybe you are one of the few who can benefit from it.

Hopefully other members here will have better words for you and more helpful words than my poor words.

It is awful beyond words when so many things join together and threaten to crush one. Pressures at home and work and everything else can be crushingly heavy.

PTSD in particular is crushingly heavy to bear in my experience.

I hope you are able to find things that really and truly help you. So sorry you are suffering!!
@Yaowen, thank you sooo much.

You've always been here to respond to my cries and pleas for help over the years. You are always so kind, so thoughtful with your replies, and so compassionate and understanding. I just love you!!

And all that you wrote is very helpful to me. I love love love your mantra. What you wrote serves as a great reminder to me to still be grateful for what I do have, even in moments or periods of enormous stress/emotional distress.

That is definitely helpful and I will be sure to keep it in mind every day.

What I realized hours after creating this thread is that due to all these different triggers occurring, I do not feel emotionally safe in any area of my life right now. And that is making me feel incredibly ungrounded, like a kite flying with no string attached. I am also constantly looking around wherever I am now, feeling on guard about anyone or anything coming to rain on my parade.

I went to a concert last night and met up with a girlfriend I've made during the last year who follows this band around the state like I do. Her boyfriend made a rather rude and mean comment to me after the show ended, which turned my entire mood sour. When I woke up, I felt like he had ruined the whole night for me with that one mean comment.

I am so sensitive to anything anyone says to me right now that could be interpreted as a slight or insult. I think perhaps another solution is for me to just completely isolate myself from the world and from society altogether. I am so traumatized & triggered that I don't want to be around any people at all.

I may need trauma therapy... I don't know. This is a pretty severe emotional state I am in.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Discombobulated, Yaowen