My mother's health is failing. She's now in a care home and I know that at 89, she may not be around for much longer.

Something I've started to think about recently is what I want to do when she passes. I know it's solely my decision and perhaps I'm wrongly anticipating pressure from relatives to "do the right thing". I don't know whether I could visit my mother at rest before her funeral, to say goodbye.

I've not had a happy life, although recognising how difficult it was for her to bring up 2 children on her own for 6 years. I was 5 and my brother 18 months old when our father died.

Am I wrong in just wanting to go and sit either in a church or open space to remember her instead....