Yikes! I am not here now posting to sound a major alarm bell for immediately necessary mental health interventions. BUT, I am experiencing a condition that is rather new to me and kind of surreal, which I am now suddenly wondering if it maybe points to a bi-polar diagnosis. I am operating on a constant and almost inhuman extremely frenzied level, every day at work, that is impacting my speaking and cognitive abilities. I am literally losing the ability to quickly identify in my head and then in my speech, the correct words or wording to use in meetings to convey my thoughts accurately. I am melting down and it's impacting my speech! Wth???? My workload is far overflowing and I cannot possibly manage all by myself the sudden huge increase in demands coming at me from all over the company. I am losing the ability to actually do what is required in my job as a direct result, which takes slower, careful and thoughtful consideration. I am a bit scared right now about my condition. The point is.. the trauma triggers being set off nearly every day in every area of my life are impacting my speech and cognitive functioning. And now, I don't make much coherent sense when required to speak up in meetings at work.

I am like on hyper drive and hyper alert. I am needing to protect myself in every area of life right now.. in my job, at my home, in my social life, in my love life.. it's like I now have a sword in my hand every second of every day, battling all of these issues at once throughout my life... this is not normal. Really unnerving..