This sounds like a difficult issue that your only comfortable bring into your mind when you feel most secure.

Your T does not seem to know this big issue is looming and it's covered by the improvement he see's on the outside.

I am not sure you will succeed if you only bring this issue forth during a strong time. You may have the safety of keeping it contained but at the same time this containment may have a residual effect.

It can be hard to accept that it is okay to let it out. Here is an excerpt from a book I am reading that makes me think of your situation

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"Acknowledging The Truth of Our Experience pg 58 Mindful Therapy by Thomas Bien, Ph.D.

Normally we are so busy evaluating and judging, planning the future or reworking the past, that we do not experience what is here. We confuse what is here with that we wish were here, or what we fear. Every experience is colored by the basic decision of whether we like having this experience, or don't like having it. If we don't like it, we may well try to distort our perception in order to avoid the pain of having this undesirable experience. We try not to notice; we tell ourselves it is something good; we distort and evade. This is a kind of lying to ourselves. If we like it, we get caught by wanting more of it or fearing it will not last.

When we are calm and mindful, we come to see what is really there. Of course, not everything goes as smoothly or easily as we wish. But ultimately that what is there is wonderful, because to be alive itself is wonderful. And when we stop resisting, things often seem to flow more harmoniously. "

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