I'm sorry that this thing happened to you and happens to you.

There is a psychological theory [I don't know if it is true or not] that hatred directed outward is actually unbearable self-hatred that needs an escape.

It could be that the people who are cruel to you actually hate and abhor themselves. That does NOT justify what they do to you, however!

And I am sorry that these people lack basic humane traits. So sorry I don't know what to say to help you.