My dad comes at noon to pick me up. I don't want to go. My leg/back is still hurting since I pulled a muscle. I slept through the night last night. I'm so very worried. I don't want to say or do anything I'll regret. H told me that I'll come back with nervous energy which maybe good. I don't know how to find a therapist. I've been on the waiting list for over a year and a half. My pdoc sees me monthly but I can't remember everything that happens in a month. It doesn't help that I'm "put together" by that time too.

My h isn't helpful. Like why would you okay a months worth of fruits and vegetables without meat when they spoil fast? Why let me overspend on fruits and vegetables. $600 on fruits and vegetables is a lot. Now there stuck with little food and I'm leaving. I'm not going to have to live with the consequences .I need like a stop sign before doing stupid stuff. But I didn't tell him about the raw veganism before ordering groceries. I still want to be a raw vegan I just have to wait and not force it on my family.

My anger is getting bad. I have to make sure I don't sh there because I don't know what would happen if I needed stitches. I don't want sh to be mistaken as si. My parents are not equipped to deal with my mental health. I'm the sane, calm, stable daughter. Who's husband convicted her to take medicine because my response went he would do something wrong. At least my dad doesn't hide my meds anymore. I still don't like them seeing me taking medicine. They know I have been diagnosed with schizo affective but don't agree. They already threw away one child with mental illness. They make excuses for the other two. They feel my older sister has bipolar and is stunned at age 12. My younger sister is spiritual and overwhelmed. She admits she has bipolar but refuses treatment.

I'm so scared to lose my parents because I honestly don't know what will happen to my sisters. I just try not to rely on my parents.