AH yes, I can totally identify with how you feel.

Looking back I used that drink to cope with so many things ranging from boredom, lonliness (a big one), my mom's health problems, my failed relationships. I had not yet realized that I HAD accomplished something as a human being and it is OK to make mistakes along the way.

Kinda hard to realize when you're in the constant fog.

I am the epitome of numb feelings when I drink. All caution goes to the wind and I am the center of the universe. Glad I can choose not to let those racing thoughts overcome me anymore.

My thoughts are:

I am grateful that I have been sober long enough to let the fog clear. The hardest part for me was getting there. Although, the battle staying there is not much easier. Synergistic = I can TOTALLY identify!