That’s not an easy feeling. I could totally understand it. I can relate in some complicated way, don’t want to hijack your thread by explaining

Were you raised in any faith or tradition? Or is there any faith or tradition you might gravitate to and might be interested in adopting? Sometimes that’s the way to feel that everywhere you go, there are other people of your persuasion and just knowing they are there helps to feel more at home even if moved/displaced.