Hi Jeka. Welcome to the forum.

I read your entire post and I have some thoughts for you.

I think you should visit here and post often to get immediate support that you need. People here are great and very helpful.

There is some genetic testing for Bipolar, but it is controversial as it only address a few of the gene markers associated with Bipolar. The cost is about $300-400 and is not covered by any insurance.

I would recommend that you see a psychiatrist and possibly a therapist too. I am a little skeptical about therapists for Bipolar, but that's only because I had one tell me - "don't feel that way". The Psychiatrist can diagnose you and begin some kind of treatment.

If money is a factor, lots of Psychiatrists have "samples" that they can give you. I have learned on this forum that there are also some programs out there that discount drugs or give them to you.

One thing I think you can do for yourself is reevaluate how you handle your anger. I know people tend towards the most convenient way of expressing their anger, but it is really something you have the ability to control and redirect no matter how angry you are. Sometimes it is as simple as just admitting out loud that you are furious/angry/upset/sad. That way people know to give you space until you cool off. I understand that violence feels good too - but you could go for a walk instead or punch your pillows or scream into them. I have tried this and it works.

Good luck with everything. I hope you get the answers you need.