I have similar issues with my mum (my dad’s the easy going enabler) she can press the buttons and also is very rigid about sticking to her guns. She also doesn’t consider others view points/perspective- my way or the highway. I still love her (and I actually feel sorry for her because it’s not a nice way to be) but it’s not an easy relationship.
I think the fact you (and I) have developed wider perspectives despite our upbringing is something we can be proud of.
Not reacting to button pushing is a skill, one I haven’t fully developed yet. Grey rocking sounds like something to work on.
Good luck for your visit, are there other places and people you can spend time with so you’re out and about as much as possible?