I'm trying to hang on as much as I can until tommorow. I was in a ton of pain and throwing up so I took an hour nap and now I just feel blah. Going to the bathroom has become painful and I've been silently thanking my PT for suggesting the stool. I told my mom last night I wanted to be cremated and have my ashes sprinkled over my Grandmas grave my mom was all like "are you trying to give me nightmares?" I've just been lying in bed today listening to music. My $12 headphones came last night. They suck. But they get the job done.

I ordered a walking pad last night which is like a treadmill with just the walking part. I got a good deal on it because of Walmart+ days. I saved $210 I think.

But **** my stomach right now.

Sorry for complaning so much

Do Tums cause anxiety or am I just in general a wreck today?

I took a 5th Valium today. May not be the smartest idea but its still only 25mg. Not sure what stayed down either. I had some of Arbys potato cakes. Nothing is doing much. So I'm guessing it is nerves about tommorow. I got a call about my colonosocopy and what to do for that. I have to pick up some gross liguid stuff and hope I don't throw it up. I'm hoping its the kind I mix with Gatorade.

Right now I'm doing laundry and watching the news and listening to music and posting on here. I have energy right now at least.