Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
I do think I'm having trouble balancing those two aspects. I'm prone to black-and-white thinking (something I am working on in therapy), so it can be difficult to see how both parts could be true. It feels like the younger/emotional part of me fighting with the older/more cognitive part of me.
I think part of it is also that he said the actual dollar amount he needs to cover the extra cost of the delayed move (around $10,000--which of course he won't make up in one week), which feels awkward. As much as I want more information from him generally, I feel he shared *too* much with me yesterday, like ranting about all the ways the contractors have screwed up. A friend was like, "Whose therapy session was this?" It did feel like that, plus the vacation thing took over my session. So lots going on here...
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I'm sorry this move is upsetting you so much LT. I did have a couple of observations regarding this particular post. I know I have mentioned this before but you saying you have trouble accepting that both things can be true triggered me regarding DBT again. A dialectic is when 2 opposites are true at the same time. DBT teaches a lot of skills that can help you with many of your apparent symptoms including Distress Tolerance. It may be helpful for you to explore.
My second observation is regarding the perceived inappropriateness of him voicing his dissatisfaction with the cost and delay of the move. You have mentioned in multiple threads that you wish you could speak to him as a friend, that you would like to know how ''he'' is doing as a person but you know he would not go for that. It seems to me that he finally did share his true feelings as a person (I am not agreeing that this is right as a therapist) but you are not pleased with that either. No need to answer but is it because he is expressing his own negative experience, would it be better for you if he was expressing something positive in his life? Or is it that he is expressing his true feelings that don't directly impact you? EX: Would it be more acceptable if he would be talking to you like a friend and only expressing his feelings about you. Either way, it seems like he was talking to you as a friend would.