I am sorry you are struggling.

First of all regretting the past is pointless. It can’t be changed so it’s better to just move in to the future.

Second of all why is it too late to leave? No it’s not. Too deep? In a year and a half snd no kids, divorce is quick. Why can’t you leave? Not suggesting you must get divorced but it surely not too late.

You are a young woman. 34? It’s nothing.

No prospects of having kids? How so? My daughter belongs to a group of moms, there are like ten of them. She gave birth at 34 and she’s the youngest in the group! Everyone is either late 30s or early 40s. Sure it gets harder but it’s common nowadays to have kids later

I had a therapist years ago telling me that longer you stay with wrong men less likely you are to meet the right one. You aren’t and never have been happy with this man. Why stick around? You deserve happiness.

This is 2024. Divorced women aren’t talk of the town or being ridiculed. By whom? Half of marriages end in divorce. No one is ridiculed

I hope you discuss your thoughts wuth your therapist soon