Yes, I had a similar issue a couple times when I considered replacing Dr. T. Two potential T's (at different times) said he shouldn't even be a therapist. I know a few people on here have said or implied that, but it's different when a T I'd have potentially worked with to says it. At first, it felt really validating when they said it, but as I thought about it, it wouldn't have been overly helpful in the long run if that was their opinion of him.

It's like if you split up with a spouse or a long-term partner and someone said, "Well, you never should have been together anyway" or "I never liked him." It can seem validating, but it's also very black and white. Because in a way, it feels like, "What was wrong with you to stay with this person so long?" Relationships are more complicated than that.

One thing I appreciate about my R (Dr. T's backup, who I'm seeing for one session next week) is that she can be a little critical or questioning of some things he's said or done while still clearly respecting him as a T and my decision to keep seeing him. I mean, granted, she leases space from him, so I don't think she'd want to be like, "Wow, he totally sucks," but I think it's more that she sees the layers of complexity in relationships. That she'd be the same if I were talking to her about another T she'd never met.