I was abused and bullied, so my social skills are less than other people with a better childhood. Then I had a lot of fake friends, a lot of disappointment, and it increased my trust issues and worsened my self esteem.

I just feel like one of the "bad apples" thrown away. I see all the people around me laughing together when they've just met or knew them shorter than me yet already like each other more than they like me.

I just want to be alone so I don't have to see how other people are so much better at socializing than me. It hurts so much to see two people knowing each other for two seconds and laughing together, meanwhile you know them for one week and they can't even ask you how you are.

Tired of people avoiding me, tired of people walking away while I talk to them, tired of people having no empathy...

Humans are not social animals because animals have hearts and humans have none.

Why do I have to deal with the entire human species being rude to me, but the human species can't get their mess together?

Why do I have to make so much efforts when humans can't even make the effort to be likeable?

Why do I have to live in that world when people are so so so awful.

The truth is that yes I want friends but people have no kindness, no consideration, no soul.

I hate people. I hate that they had a childhood allowing them to be amazingly social. I hate that they had friends who never broke their trust. I hate that they never had to deal with the hell I had to go through.

And yes, I know that the world is not revolving around me, because the world is revolving around them.

Woe is me because I am so deeply hurt by people. I feel like I am dying of thirst and everyone is dancing around me with jugs of water and not even giving me a sip.

I just want to live on a far away island with animals, because people have hurt too much...

Because nobody can see how much and how hard I try every day and it's as if there is no fruits and that I'm still stuck in a forest of dead trees.

It is destroying and crushing to see that I have to lift mountains for nothing while they can walk into the room and do so much more with less effort and less time.

Life is not fair, people are not fair, nothing is fair...

Still, if you somehow know some magic spell or whatever advice that can help me... Write it down I guess...