@Scooter9 I hope everything turns out as best as it can for you and your family. We're here for you

Now I feel like an asshat for yelling at my mom after she yelled at me...it takes days for her to cool down, so I'm just going to spend a few days wandering around and sleeping at rest stops and hope she forgives me at some point. If I apologize now she's just going to tell me I'm a shyt person who should've never been born as if I'm not already at my freaking breaking point right now holding on a dead tree branch high up over a shallow rocky brook in high winds considering just letting go instead of waiting in anticipation for that branch to fall. I realized why I'm sick of defending myself all the ******* time--because every thing I do is wrong and I'm guilty and defending myself is just deluding myself into thinking I did something not fccked for the first time in my life.

Sorry for the dramatic rant. Doing what I can to literally stay alive right now.