H called the pdoc yesterday. I left 2 messages for the pdoc and told him to call or text H. The pdoc did refill lamotrigine for me at the pharmacy, but the pharmacy status just reads "in process" right now and has since 10 AM though they said it would be ready at 2 PM and it's now after 3 PM and STILL not ready. Pdoc said I should (GOD, I had to look up how to spell "should"!) take a 2nd hydroxyzine, but it did not help.Do you think that might help? Pdoc has not called me back though it is probably for the best the good old pdoc is communicating with H right now. Pdoc is incredibly smart, MENSA, national intelligence competitions, trilingual (though he grow up in a Vietnamese family and speaks fluently, he has an American accent), but pdoc speaks very quickly, and with my lack of focus and forgetfulness, speaking to him might not be best because H remembers stuff (well, H has a Ph.D. from a Nobel laureate and teaches industrial engineering at the university level and has a shares & works with an international nanotube startup in India, so H is no slouch either. H tries his best to understand bipolar and mental illness, but only people WITH mental illness understand what it's really like living with it day after day. Anyway, I digress. Sorry. I get pressured writing (pressured speech too when manic). As you can tell.

Trying NOT to go psych hospital route. At this moment, I feel like not going. I felt like going earlier.