Was cleaning and found/read some journals anywhere from 20yrs ago to last December (have more recent ones obviously, but those have snippets of stuff I'm going to rewrite or type up as more refined creative writing). Dayyyyummm that was triggering though. You don't feel how bad everything is when you're in it (and surrounded by people in it as well), and when things are better it feels worse, but when I look back, I don't think a lot of the more "normal" kids I knew in school had a hell of a lot of similar experiences. I sure as heck hope they didn't.

I also found some stuff old buddies gave me (pieces of art, can of various local, rare cans of beer, one of those little jars they sell weed in with a guitar pick in it, some TMI stuff lol). Most of those folk are either dead or wish I were dead (I probably felt the same about them at the time too, but I don't right now).

I did find a reading list an inpatient nurse practitioner I've worked with for a total of probably 5 months if you combine stays, and I'm going to follow through with it. We were really close and had a great deal of respect for each other. She taught me living in my dad's drug den wasn't the most common of things, and certainly a recipe for disaster. Maybe write a bit of an analysis of them and mail it to the unit. See if she's still there and can read it.

Just a stroll down mental illness painted memory lane today I guess.