Hello. I would like to describe some instances with friends that altogether really hurt me.
First, one friend that I met in a mental hospital (I have psychosis now due to wrongly prescribed pills, whenever I stop taking them I get hallucinations I never had before taking them). She is of a similar age to me like all other friends, I am 30.
She had her birthday this month. She called me a few times to say she wants to invite me for a drink, and that unfortunately most others cancelled her. She was supposed to bring one other acquaintance. I already bought a gift and all and I congratulated her on the day, she thanked me and that was the end of it. I didn't actively ask if we were still going out, mostly because I've seen her be fickle before and e.g. leave my birthday after 30 minutes, act really distracted, quiet and strange whenever I call, etc., and just wanted to see if she'd remember. Well, she said nothing of it, though I bought a gift. She is stable on her pills as well.

Next. I arranged for two friends (one healthy and my best one, and one I met in the hospital, too) to go to a concert, they both seemed really interested. We bought the tickets. Then, my best friend (who is known to be late) said she'd miss about an hour and a half, but out of her own sloppiness and carelessness (e. g. was doing her make up for an hour after the concert started although we agreed she'd do it all before it began) never came.
The hospital friend showed up but left after 20 minutes with me. She said she felt ill and was seeing a woman that "tortures" her (she keeps having this hallucination one day a week, other than that is functional and stable). However, from the way she behaved there, it just seemed to me she didn't enjoy being with me and was not really thrilled, and thought she made her excuses, although I am sensitive anyway. This could technically be true but from her actions, it just seemed she was bored and didn't enjoy my company.

After the concert, me and my best friend were supposed to go out to a club. However, riding to town, BFF was speaking to her ex-bf on the phone. He has been known to have an aversion to me, bad mouthed me before and often insulted me as a "joke" to my face while they were still together. I never did get to hear honestly what was bothering him.
Anyway, she mentioned she was staying at mine for a night, and he said something (surely negative) about me as a response I couldn't hear, it's to be expected, and she replied "Yes, I know. But now it is what it is."
I later asked her if he said something and what it was, but she wouldn't tell me, said she "forgot", and I knew she was just withholding info.

All those things together hurt me, I'm not going to lie. I already have difficulties due to pills, but having these issues with friends makes it worse. I get so depressed because I don't even know what is the matter and thus can't help myself. I feel like nobody says it straight to my face. And like nobody even enjoys being with me.

What are your thoughts? Do you have some advice what I should do? I'd be really thankful.

Have a good day.