I completely understand. My dad was highly opinionated and heavily involved in church. As a result, he was very inflexible because he had this moral checklist on any subject we discussed which made it nearly predictable where any conversation could go. So finding common ground was like digging a hole to China.

In retrospect I'm VERY glad I did it though, because after he died, I was able to look back with comfort and realize I did tell him everything I ever wanted to say. Whether we were in a good moment or a less favorable one, he always knew I loved him and I made sure to thank him for raising me.

When you're in the fog of conflict, its hard to find good things to highlight. But when they're gone forever, its amazing how quickly you find those good things. And your next thought is always whether they knew about those good things. Did you tell them everything you ever wanted them to know or feel?

And I know this isn't really giving you that immediate answer you desire and I'm sorry I could not be more helpful to you. But I just wanted to perhaps give you a sign on that mile marker of life that lies straight ahead. Salvage what you can and make the most of it while they're here. One day this will all pass. How you handle it today will factor greatly in how you reflect later. You sound like a great person. I'm sure it will work out. I wish you much happiness.