I'm starting to wonder if something is in fact still off with my moods since I started having symptoms a week ago. My sleep has been weird-last night, I had one of these weird nightmare things that feel as real as I feel when I wake up from them. I've only ever had this happen since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder so wonder if they're related. Also, during parts of the last two days, my brain has been focused on tasks but flying in a way that normally only happens when something is off.

And, my frustrations are really coming out. My roommate just got back from being gone for about 6 weeks so went grocery shopping. When putting her food away, she asked me if food in a certain part of the fridge was hers to which my brain for some reason felt the need to answer by saying most of the food in the fridge is hers (which was true the entire time she was gone-she doesn't clean stuff out so I'm always living in her clutter throughout the entire unit). I think this made her cry because she has disappeared so that's fun. And, now I'm all paranoid about what she thinks about me/wondering if I completely destroyed her (she hurts easily) and part of my brain completely wants to spiral down negative thoughts about myself.

I also let out more frustrations to my mom when I talked with her Saturday.

Crap-maybe trying to use hormones to manage my moods actually just has me in a sneaky state of hypomania or some type of mixed state. I'm so over having bipolar disorder. All this in time to leave town in a couple of days, for several days, too...