Thank you for sharing, LT. That makes sense to me, especially about logically understanding but still having an emotional reaction.
I don’t think I want to go with her or see her in a different way, I think I just struggle to think she is gone. I am always allowed contact but I know I won’t so in my head I am abandoned. It affects me on a level I do not understand. It could be a transference thing. I just don’t understand it yet