@MuddyBoots We're here for you and absolutely want you around!



My counselor sure put me in my place. I needed it, but dang. She just said everything so matter of factly. I am officially cutting back on therapy sessions. I am going to see her once a month and then, next week, I will talk this other counselor I've been trying out about if/how much I want to see her. If I choose to keep seeing her as well, it will only be once a month with her too. After three years of counseling, I just don't want to keep doing the deep work. I want to stay stable, but the next level of healing involves learning to (and letting myself) feel feelings and I don't want to and don't feel ready to. Bipolar disorder, and past trauma, has me terrified of feelings.

Talking with her, I fully realized how much a fear of bipolar disorder leading to dangerous actions was the main thing that kept me going to counseling every week. This is something I'll just talk with my pdoc about when I see him at the end of the month.