i have a friend who seems like a nice person but is also self-centered. she lost her father recently and was having a very hard time so i tried to support her. her doctor also thinks she has early on-set dementia as her shortterm memory is bad. she repeats herself a lot. taking all that into account i try to be sympathetic and understanding. i am often on the listening end of her talking about her problems. however, i also get very frustrated with her. she once needed someone to foster her cat. she asked me on five separate occasions and each time i said i would take her cat in (i love animals) only to have her change her mind each time and she would ask her acquaintance to foster her cat. she was constantly telling me how that acquaintance didn't really care about her cat. ack. another situation was her birthday. i texted her twice and said i wanted to take her to lunch to celebrate. she did not respond to the invite even though she texted me about other things. so i texted her a third time. this time she didn't even respond. when i asked her about it after three days she said she had been busy. it only takes a few seconds to text a yes or no right? it's common courtesy. this disregard for my feelings bothers me. yet when i was sick she kept offering to help me. and she is always thanking me for being a good friend. so things are not black and white. i want to tell her how i feel but she gets very defensive and makes excuses.

i find i sometimes make friends only to find out down the line that they are not the right friend for me.