Quote:
Originally Posted by MtnTime2896
4 days shy of 5 months sober. This is the longest I've gone since I first began using when I was 15. Never have made it this far and it hasn't been easy. Grief, abandonedment and life's other dishes it has force fed me; none of it has made this any easier. And I've never felt more alone. Sobriety feels like a prison sentence these days. And it's all too little, too late. I want to believe in it again. I just don't.
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Wonderful achievement, congratulations!
About the prison sentence, well, indeed. But for me, it is not just the sobriety. Or active using. It is life itself. Sentenced for life, on prison planet Earth, without the possibility of a parole. I am writing my reply to you from my cell right now. Just because i can come and go as i please, and i have the keys, does not make this a home. No place has ever felt like home.
Currently it is the morning of my clean + sober day 8. Hoping to make it where you are, regarding the duration of being clean and sober. And beyond. I could take about 15 eternities at first. Then re-evaluate, has alcohol and drug free life been worth it? Then end up with the conclusion that it definitely has been worth it. Then go another 15 eternities clean and sober. But... one day at a time. Sometimes that is way too much. Honestly sometimes i go 30 seconds at a time.
I am not gonna say "Good luck!" to you. These things have nothing to do with luck, whatsoever.
What i am gonna say, is: Stay strong. Please don't give up. "Nothing worth achieving comes easily, without much effort".
Tread lightly.