I'm listening to Meg Myers-Monster a lot these days. Still not over the past relationship. Makes sense since I'm freaking waiting on results from STI testing... I feel awful because I thought my hep was treated, but it wasn't, and they probably have it now, and they get around a bit. Thinking of that Morgan Wallen song lyric "I don't feel bad for you, but I feel bad for him."

But now Papa Roach- Forever came on, and I feel like youtube is trying to tell me I don't do well in relationships but it feels like my pubis is shattered. I sorted things out in my room a bit and found a bunch of shyt people have given me over the years, and I had to throw all of it in a drawer only to take out when I want to remind myself everyone is going to leave in the end. A lot of it was from my past partner that did not survive while we were together. I think about her a lot. Her family hated her. Her dog was the greatest good girl ever, and I miss going with the two of them to the park and roughing around. I remember that time we hiked this mountain at midnight tripping on shrooms and just stared at the stars forever. I taught her how to ski, but not really. I just got her good enough on the greens and taught some emergency skills so I could take her on some blues because the greens where we went were too boring.



I need to stop thinking about all my failed relationships. I guess that's all of them....