@MuddyBoots

That is such a tragic story you shared about your past partner.. So sad. It's not a wonder you'd be broken up about it. Thinking about failed relationships can really get a person down in the dumps, especially if you don't currently have an SO. I definitely read your book!

@LadyShadow
I'd read your book too! You have such an interesting and positive story to tell about how you overcame so many obstacles along with your drinking and gotten sober. You have such a wonderful, FULL life!

@raspberrytorte
I didn't have my first psychotic episode until I was in my 30s and postpartum too. My daughter was born when I was 29, almost 30. I had been treated for major depression along with the ED in the past, but looking back, I see signs of hypomania all throughout my 20s and some questions I was embarrased to answer truthfully to the pdoc of the times: hypersexuality, overspending, etc I'd had bipolar all along and been misdiagnosed. After my daughter was born, I too was diagnosed with PPD and put on Zoloft. I know the current thinking is not to breastfeed on any psych meds, but in those days, it was thought it was safe to nurse on Zoloft. I breastfed for 2 years. Then, I showed up at a scheduled pdoc appt. crazy manic, pressured writing notes all over the place and all over the waiting room, talking a million miles a limit and my diagnosis changed to bipolar I. And finally put on bipolar meds. But I didn't have my first psychotic break until I was 35 or so. Lately, I've had them in 12 month intervals.

I too did not like the new mom stage, except for nursing. Daughter was an excellent breastfeeder & she was not crying when she was nursing. I didn't much care for the early toddler stage and terrible 2s and early 3s either. But after that, I started enjoying motherhood, and once your child is out of elementary school and can relate to and handle more grownup topics all around, you are so right, it is divine! And it's also great when you can stop watching cartoons, kiddie TV (esp. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!), and tween shows. Though I have to admit even tween shows with real live people are better than small kids' TV.

Heck, we ALL have interesting stories! I'd read any of your books too!

I took a LONG rest period this afternoon lying in bed and listening to music. I chilled out a little and even read 5 or 6 pages in my book (couldn't even get through 1 paragraph last night). I'm a bit more mellow. H says I always seem to get agitated around 10,11 AM then my mania calms somewhat late afternoon but will often rev up at night. Too many thoughts floating around in my head just lying there TRYING to fall asleep.