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CANDC, Thanks. I'm trying the HealthyMinds app. I downloaded it Friday night and have done the evening and morning exercises since then. They seemed to really help, I fell asleep more easily Friday and then Saturday I felt pretty calm all day- I was out in my car all day doing food deliveries, so that's a major time I start to ruminate because there's nothing else to do. But Saturday it was much better than usual; today was pretty bad again though. I had one of those dreams about the people gaslighting me again, and then no matter what I tried I couldn't relax and felt kind of irritated and confused. I'm gonna keep progressing through the app, though. Since this has been happening a long time, I almost forget what my mental state was like before all this started, so some of the questions or frames of reference it presents are useful. I've also been socially isolating for a long time since I cut these people off, and I haven't had any one to talk to about this stuff yet or like had any other mirroring besides these weird dreams. It's actually been a couple of years that I've been trying to either reach out through a hotline and talk to someone, or leave a comment on one of the YouTube channels for mental health that I frequent, but it was so hard to start talking about what's been going on, so I never did. But, on Tuesday this week I spent a bit typing out a long comment to one of the channels I watch because I saw another viewer said something similar about the weird nightmares, and I got hopeful. I typed the comment out and spent a while editing it, and then a few hours after I sent it I realized everything in it was a statement, and there was no questions in it so like no reason for any one to respond. Lol. But Wednesday night I was feeling
horrible, like somethings gotta give so I kind of just found this forum and hopped on it the next day without thinking too much. So hopefully that means real progress is happening anyway. Thank you for listening lol