Well ****! My schizophrenic son is in jail! Charged with 3 degree assault and mischievous something! Today he moved to the new facility and I talked to him earlier today and he was excited bc they serve coffee from 7am to 7pm. Caffeine makes his meds not work to their full potential. He said that the staff were treating him like a baby and it was demeaning. When he assaulted me, 2 of my sisters each paid 5 grand to get him a private attorney. I doubt they will this time. I think he is going to do significant jail time. I just don't understand why he continues to self destruct! He knows Caffeine makes him angry. I told him he should only have 3 cups a day and he was like whatever. I hate how this is his life. I'll tell you what, mental illness has ruined both of our lives! Me now with anxiety and him with rage and voices and delusions. I'm crying. Why does this have to be our lives! I wish we had money and could get good mental health care. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I've been through so much in my life. My son has been through so much in his life. It just seems really unfair. I did talk to one of my sisters tonight and she said let's just deal with it tomorrow and try and come up with a plan. I feel like did I damage him? I know I babied him. And I was unstable bc I was untreated bipolar 1 and other diagnoses. But I don't feel like I abused him. He says I didn't. I just don't know what to do!