Massively struggling with the highs and lows and rights and lefts today. I went to get groceries today, and of course every single Market Basket in NH has a liquor store nearby, usually in the same plaza at that. I've been super struggling with wanting to drink lately, but I managed to keep focused on getting my shyt and coming home. I'm not saying I didn't cry in the grocery store, again in the car, and again when I got back. I'm not saying I'm not trying so hard to fight off sui thoughts right now. But I guess I'm doing it so why should I or anyone else care that if the littlest thing happens right now I'm going to fly off the handle when I'm not there?