@Blue_Bird
I know what you mean. I've had dissociation happening since I was 10 or 11, way before the depression and bipolar started. But I had a lot of childhood trauma, sexual abuse by an uncle, and the home I grew up in was chaotic. My father was always angry and yelling, spanked way beyond an appropriate age (until I was around 13 yrs old) and my sisters and I really were very good kids who hardly disobeyed at home and at school, but my dad always found fault and my mother just went along with him even if she didn't agree. In that respect, dissociation is nothing new to me, but I still don't like it.