I think that's spot on, Una.

My yearning for ex-T used to get sooooo bad. She sometimes seemed to understand it, sometimes seemed annoyed by it (in retrospect). I found a huge comfort in being with her, that was so very similar to the comfort I remember feeling when I spent weekends with my grandma (who passed when I was 15, some 47 years ago now). I craved it, yearned for it, desperately needed it. It got so bad that my h started accusing me of having some kind of weird emotional affair with her. (Then again, therapy kind of IS an emotional affair, in some ways, isn't it? One-sided, but still. We can feel SO close to them.)

I never really learned to "manage" it, though. In my thoughts anyway, and I could be completely off-base of course, but I'm not sure we can actually "manage" it, other than like una said, seeing t regularly. Talking about it, sitting with it, feeling it. I wasn't ever very good at just letting myself sit with and feel it. It hurt too much.

I'm not seeing that t anymore; things kinda blew up between us in February. But yeah. I am seeing a new temporary t for the time being, because I need some help with the transition from not seeing ex-T anymore.