I have yet to figure out how to let my "excellent mind" (supposing you're right on that one) lead me (in the right direction anyways). Be as smart as you want, but how am I supposed to do anything with it when it's disorganized, impatient, easily bored, and doesn't want me to see tomorrow? I have trouble believing I am capable of adding something to the world and feeling okay with a beating heart.

I get that I'm on a lifelong adventure, like everyone else, because that is exactly what life is. I'm just having a hard time being in the jungle for so long and accepting that if I put in the effort I might get to a place I enjoy better, but if I don't put in the effort I definitely will not. A "might" feels like I'm setting expectations for myself that I'm just going to get more and more let down when as each day passes I have no sign of getting out of this jungle. Fccking sick of the jungle. I'm lost af and trying not to get bit by pit vipers all day.

I'm gonna go finish my wings before the local tribe takes them from me