Well, that mindset of 'I want to see tomorrow' is a nice place to be in, it feels right. It's basic hope and a feeling of optimism, you can smile there, but for me it can come and go, too.

I hear you Muddy, though. Being stable within or trying to think your way out of hell is like trying to do a jigsaw puzzle - you can see the nice picture you're trying to create but you haven't finished yet because it's one of those 2000 piece jigsaws(!) I just want you to keep fighting. It'd be immoral to tell you to stop fighting and I don't want you to stop just as I don't want to stop anymore. Hang in there, buddy. You're doing well, you attack every problem thrown at you, and little by little the proverbial glass of pure clean water fills to the top and the sediment settles at the bottom. I see that happening in my own evolution and in others. So, that is you too. You're not an exception. ((Hugs))