View Single Post
eskielover
Legendary Wise Elder
 
eskielover's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,930 (SuperPoster!)
20
14.9k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 30, 2024 at 04:10 AM
 
Something simlar....the guy I was dating in college was smart but had a crappy attitude. He only did well in classes he liked & said he didn't bother with classes where he knew he was smarter than the professor. Thus he graduated with a bad GPA. He had been working for a bank while in college & believed that they would give him a position in the IT area when he graduated. We had planned on getting married after he graduated while I continued to finish my degree (took longer for me because I changed majors as a junior)

Turned out the bank didn't give him a job because of his bad GPA. He was mad but hadn't done any on campus interviews with other companies. He claimed that his GPA didn't reflect his intelligence but I told him it truly reflected his bad attitude. Huge red flags right before the wedding I should have listened to my gut but got married anyway because he was a nice guy & as my mom said....."he will grow up when he has to". WRONG. His bad attitude was part of the marriage & it grew into nothing but fighting. I hung in on the marriage for 33 years. When I finally walked out it was becausevI had enough of the attitude that was the red flag before the wedding.

My take on it is that no matter how "nice" soneone is, if you have an issue with their attitude, it only gets worse after marriage. Better to listen to your red flag now & leave. I walked out after 33 years with nothing & he lost the house to foreclosure so even that couldn't be split in the divorce. By that point in time leaving was about finding my sanity again & regaining control over my life.

During most of my marriage my focus & my escape was my career but when I no longer had that, life became a living #@[[.

I have never been happier than after I left & look back & think....."why did you wait so long & why didn't you pay attention to those red flags before the wedding?"

If you have doubts NOW, it only gets worse & harder to leave with time. "NICE" is not the only thing important in a relationship. A lot more I could write but these are the basics from my own personal experience.

BTW, we both ended up being computer engineers but his attitude stuck with him & continually caused his career & our marriage problems.

__________________


Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
eskielover is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
careergirl
 
Thanks for this!
Molinit