Wow... My friend you are carrying all of HER guilt. My wife and I have raised three kids and now have a grandson. As stated above, having kids completely restructures how the husband and wife dynamic works. Why? For all the obvious reasons that now you have two children that need your undivided attention. I'm thrilled you were putting so much time into the kids. Where was she in all this? My wife and I experienced the same deficits of feeling buried in the process and not having any "us" time. Absolutely NORMAL. We sat down and decided we would start working on date nights where we would get a babysitter and devote an evening just to us. It might just be for a dinner alone or perhaps dinner and a movie if we were afforded the time. It's amazing how little things like that offer some emotional pitstops in the process of raising kids. It serves as a reminder of why you got together and decided to build a family.

And honestly I'm at a complete loss for why YOU are asking HER for forgiveness. She's not only wrecking the home the two of you built, but she's working on wrecking another family with a different married man. Wow, does she have an empty conscience. I realize this is all fresh and you're still reeling from the sudden upheaval of her exit in your life. But I would take this moment and assess her values as a person and whether SHE was the one who gave this proper consideration. This was a very fixable scenario and her wandering off into the affections of another married man is not something you answer to. Those were her choices, not yours. And she not only ran out on you, but she traded in her kids on that assessment as well. What is she thinking this will fix? How will her kids feel seeing their mother walking around with a different set of kids who already have a mother? Too early to say that? Then why even go down that road if the end result was not attractive to her? Sorry... You need to stand your ground and most importantly stand up for your kids. Okay we can all say you are not guilt free in this, but I'm sorry we all make mistakes in our lives. Anything you've done here is fixable. What she's done is something much worse. She needs to own HER mistakes and realize she is walking away from a family she made with you, while working on destroying another one in the process. Saying she is "lonely" is honestly blaming the kids and that is a horrid guilt trip to place on your children. Way to go " mom". And if her parents endorse that kind of behavior, then they're either not seeing the whole picture or are not the people you thought they were. Stay strong and protect your kids. She's the one that needs some self examination right now.