I'm sorry that he is causing you to doubt yourself, second guess yourself, and even shame yourself for very natural things (ie: requesting a session with R while he is unavailable). It seems you were taking care of yourself and using your resources. If he has concerns about the dynamic between the three of you then he should've waited to address that later when the "crisis" was over.

I feel that he is really dropping the ball on so many levels. He's put you in a position where you feel that you need to take care of him and his emotions (ie: trying not to upset or anger him in order to keep the relationship intact)- which is not your job and is a pretty f-ed up place for a therapy client to find themselves.

I speak from experience on that one.

For me, that sort of dynamic is familiar and stems from childhood. When it happens again in therapy it's sometimes called an enactment and it can be very damaging for the client. It's the therapist's job to ensure it doesn't happen or to at least be aware of the signs that it may be happening. He seems oblivious and I'm afraid you will be the one to pay the price.