Sorry about your experience with meds. I've been on a lot too and a lot that didn't work. And it makes a difference too how long did you give each med you tried? If it was not very long, sometimes the side effects do go away with time.
But I do know for some, the side effects are too terrible to take for long. I was on something, can't remember for the life of me what it was, but it caused me to have projectile vomiting, and even after decreasing the dose by half, I was still throwing up, pdoc wanted to try for 1/4 of the original dose, and I told him no F*CKING way!

For me, combos seem to work better, but that's just me. Do you think it's possible to give one of the mania-friendly options you haven't tried a shot?

You are right in alcohol and substance abuse affecting how well meds work. Might have better luck with meds if you can get help with that first.