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CANDC · Aug 01, 2024 at 01:48 PM

@careergirl welcome to MSF. I am sorry you are feeling dissatisfied with the direction the relationship is headed.. That must be rough on you.

You said

Quote:

There is still possibility that I will never find somebody that is as good to me as him and it feels bad to let somebody go just because of these reasons. Also it will be hard to leave him, there is high possibility that it will destroy him, also we share most of our friends, we know each other families, we are living together. There are so many things that are tying us together and I was never with somebody for so long. But I also understand that, if I was in a need to create this thread, this relationship ended already in my heart.

What I have seen is what ends is my expectations. Those are usually exaggerated. I think what you describe is a very important social connection. Having a fling with someone else may destroy the relationship you have that is an anchor. That may really harm you as well.

I am not saying you should decide in one certain way, but rather write out all the intentions you have and then ask yourself if they are realistic. Will anyone be able to do that on a longterm basis? Someone can be a certain way for a while, but other parts of them emerge and the whole relationship that you thought was better than the one you have now could just be revealed as a paint job, rather than the anchor you have now.

List all the pluses you have on paper or email and the minuses. How else could you fulfill those minuses without destroyning the relationship and possibly destroying your anchor.

I have ended relationships out of convenience but that was not good for me or for them because of how it was done. These can haunt us as they have with me.

Hope you find a solution that harms no one.

CANDC
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