I keep thinking I ****ed up. I wasn't able to articulate why I need a service dog and what tasks I need. Words are hard for me right now being my brain is mush and scattered. If I'm not able to explain myself to him how am I going to explain myself to strangers? I really wish I had a therapist. I see the Dr Monday and I need to explain what happened this past month. I hope he can help. I've been smoking at night since I got home. I can't deal with feeling stupid, anxious, like any moment my brain is going to turn on me and terrorize me. I'm not having as many sh thoughts. I'm learning that is my go to grounding technique. That I was probably psychotic through out my teen years. I really wish I had someone to talk to besides h.