Good on you for working on yourself.

If the DBT book about anger is causing you more anger, put it aside for a while and, as you're doing, focus on the other book.

Have you ever heard of schema therapy? I just found this: Borderline Personality Disorder Therapy | San Jose | California (Not suggesting you go to San Jose or anything, but they discuss schema)

Also Gestalt or Transactional Analysis might be interesting to consider. There's a book called "Born to Win" by Dorothy Jongeward and Muriel James that contains aspects of those two therapies.

You can also get books for cheaper at AbeBooks | Shop for Books, Art & Collectibles

Best wishes to you...