I typed im okay but now im not. Shes planning something. I just see that look in her eyes. CM said I seem off. I am on. I told her electricity flows to make me be just like everywhere. I threw out all my socks for that reason. Maybe barefootinf it will make me smarter. Or dumber. Idk whose charge is stronger. But if we could get rid of foot fungus we could fix the T. I keep going from sprinting up and down the road to practically passed out on the floor.
People keep saying theyre concerned or that Im off or theyve just pissed at me, and I keep thinking they just dont get it. I have all these great ideas, but Im having trouble integrating. Well, I can, I just dont know why I should. Area beneath the curve? Oh, I get it now thats the kind of stats they might use to sway the election. Total change in rate (increased), not change in rate of change (decreased). Different interpretations. Stats isnt hard proof. Its data that can be looked at in different ways for manipulation.
But maybe everyone is right? I dont know. I kept saying i was getting better,
But Im starting to feel sorry for but angry with Bo. I can have more than one emotion at a time. My mom hasnt said anything and I kinda live with her. She tried drowning me though, and shes probably going to do it again, except I can swim, so her opinion doesnt matter.
I dont know what to do to get back on everyone elses level. I dont know if I want to. Ive handled the sui thoughts, the violent impulses. I AM safe and no one can do shyt apparently so I dont see the point in looking for treatment. Even Bo were just waiting for him to die because hes a badass (and I hope I can be like him too). I want to ask what I should do, but I do not trust anyone because everyone has seen my work through the bushes and they might 1984 it out of me. I dont know if theyll do that regardless of what I do . Or if thats kinda what theyre doing now. Theyre going to point guns at me and tase me and pepper spray me again. I can cooperate but it doesnt feel right.
Idk. Logic v morals.