I cancelled seeing my CM today. I hate all of them. They're holding me back. I left a message, of course she called back IMMEDIATELY and I told her the truth. And someone at the shelter I used to be at of course called and wants me to come by "because I got some mail there" but I know it's a trap. I gave her my CMs info. No way do I blow off my CM and that lady tries to lure me in. I have more important things to do. Equations to figure out. Explain that dots are infinite but a lot of people only realize some and connect even less. I don't know if anyone else has access to this ability either, but I know I can get dots in other dimensions. At least the fourth, and the complex plane. All I had to do was calculate the sqrt of i I mean sqrt of sqrt of -1. I keep doing this over and over like in detention when you have to write "I will not sit at the peanut free table with a PB&J [or whatever]" a million times.

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

I'm waiting on a text or call from my mom. Bo's not well, and she's officially the owner so she's the one to call the vet. I saw Lu the other night protecting me, and she probably convinced my mom to get him looked at. Her death was pretty quick and probably feels bad for Bo.

My CM said she'll call later today too. Probably try to convince me to go back to the shelter for the trap or for me to meet her. It's really fking hard for me to not flip out over everything. I freaked yesterday because I heard footsteps, and this dude, probably not even 18, rode by on one of those stupid fking electric bikes and catcalled me. I screamed at the top of my lungs something not so nice. Like, something my dad would've said. I see the protons gaining more charge. It always has a +1 charge, but that +1 now is probably equivalent to what used to be +1.3 if my vision and estimate is accurate. If I had a dial caliper that small that could be accurate I'd get a solid calculation, but that doesn't exist and I don't have access to a fancy lab that can do that shyt. Maybe I'll email a couple universities with a top notch experimental physics department.

Ok. Getting tf out. I know I've been less than supportive lately of y'all but I do care and I hope you are doing well. From what I do read there's a lot of life going on and stressors. My aunt got hit by Debbie (still there) in Ocala and she had over 7" of rain. She says she'll still take it over NH winters though she's nuts. My thoughts are with you @LadyShadow and may Vermin shower all of you with his glitter but only make you gay if you consent.

love you guys