Hello! I'm new to this forum. My user name is WantToShare. My diagnosis is Bipolar II Disorder. I was not able to find professional help until I was 54 or 55 years of age, and I'd had severe depression since age 3, and wished I had never been born. My parents sent me to a psychologist when I was 12 years old. Prior to seeing her, I was very energetic and social, but after seeing her I became very withdrawn, and stayed that way all through high school. I got my true personality back when I went to college when I was 17 years old.

My sister, who is six years younger, grew up hearing me say "I wish I had never been born." My life has had a lot of successes, and a lot of tragedies.

I was only hospitalized one time, and it was a waste of my time. I had gone to a psychiatrist to try to get a new doctor, and I was very, very angry, which is one of my symptoms. This inept woman could not calm me down, and so she advised me to commit myself. Since I thought that a "hospital" would help me out, I did commit myself. I was there for a week. I was scared of some of the other patients, because violent patients were put into the same ward as regular people who were not violent. When they finally let me out, they sent me back to the same dysfunctional mental heatlh clinic that I was trying to get out of! Now, though, I have a very competent psychiatrist and therapist, too, but they are both out of state and I see them on Zoom. I don't like that. I would much prefer to have live in person contact with my providers, but according to my insurance company, there are not any local ones who see people in person. So strange.