I worry a lot. When I was 17 (I’m 26 now), I was diagnosed with BPD. I have been on and off therapy and medication. My new psychiatrist had been prescribing escitalopram 10 mg for the last few months. Although initially it showed results, the progress slowly wore off. Hence, the last time I saw him, he put me on Bupropion XL 300 mg. Ever since then (22 days) these are the changes I have noticed -
PROS
- Assertive and confident
CONS
- Increase in anger
- When it comes to low moods, I feel like I’m experiencing the lowest of the lows. I’ve had death wishes before, but this time it's even worse. One time my anger turned inward, and I found myself speeding on the highway, hoping my life would end quickly. I’ve never done that before.

Frequently, I get the feeling that I’m falling behind everyone else (after graduating with a masters degree in psychology, I quit the field and have been clueless and unemployed since then), and I think I’ll probably end up unemployed for the rest of my life or stuck at a menial job, having no chance at getting back the life I had or of creating a new life.
There’s also this issue that I have been having for a long time: piles or hemorrhoids. A few days ago, the condition worsened, and it sent me into panic mode. So I’m not sure whether it is because of this issue that my mental health has worsened or if it is because of the change in medicine.