I'm pretty convinced that I've been experiencing PTSD due to being bullied when I was a child. When people do bad things to me, I can't shake it off, even if I forgive them. I have trouble confronting them and often I don't know how to respond when I've been offended--which I think makes me a target for some people.

I get heart racing and high blood pressure when I ruminate over something someone said/did or what I wish I said, etc. I'm having a bad day, just thinking about being around certain people and daydreaming that they'll say something offensive and what I should say in response. I thought it might be depression, but I kinds doubt it based on the common descriptions of depression. It's all completely feeling scared/frustrated/etc. over adult bullies. So the "trigger" for me is to be around someone who I suspect will bully me [again] and that reminds me of having those awful bullies as a child.

I'm considering getting a therapist for PTSD, but I have sense to know that when people have PTSD it's from MAJOR incidents like child abuse, sexual abuse, rape, battle, tragic accidents, etc. My problem seems so incredibly minor compared to others. I was never physically abused. But I did have an intense feeling of helplessness and suicidal thoughts. I literally had no one to help me when the bullies taunted me or threw my books on the ground or mocked me. My parents did nothing. Teachers did nothing because they couldn't handle the bullies either.

I know that every now and then when we hear of kids shooting in schools because they were bullied, I feel like I understand what they were feeling. If I had had a gun in my hand during those bullying incidents, I'd be in jail now! Unfortunately, I think I'd feel better too. I am glad when I hear the schools have bully-prevention strategies today, I wish there was more of that back then.

So what do you think, would I get laughed out of the office? Is there a way I can get a support group for adults who were bullied as kids?